We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
Randomize
