I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
Randomize
