using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
