Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
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