one two three fourrrrnication!
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Randomize
