i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
Randomize
