I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
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