Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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