i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
