That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
