Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Randomize
