About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
