YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
So much Jack, so little girl.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
Randomize