No, you can still breathe under the balls.
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
Sext me about skeletons
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Randomize
