They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
This baby is an asshole
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
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