this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
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