Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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