508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
Randomize
