Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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