and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
Randomize
