My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
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