So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize
