wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
Sorry about my life...
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
