So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
