Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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