I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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