In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
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