lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
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