I'm gonna have a badass scar
I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
