I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
Randomize
