your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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