Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
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