community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
