sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
I did not marry a roomba.
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