For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
