Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
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