Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Cover your peen. We're going out.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Randomize
