too bad you live with your parents still
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
