i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize