Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
Are my feet made of real feet?
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
Randomize
