Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Randomize
