im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
Randomize
