We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize
