so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
I just found a bag of teeth...
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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