I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
you inspire me to be a worse person
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
