Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
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