Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
