we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Randomize
