Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Randomize
