Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
