She went from zero to smokin in five shots
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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