wat bout pragnant strippers??
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
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