she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
