I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
My orgasm happened in two different decades
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
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