All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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