big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
Randomize
