2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
please come you make the beer taste better
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Randomize