There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
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