speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
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