i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
