It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Randomize