Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
ttyl tear gas
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
