A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
I still have a little drunk in my system
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
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